My boyfriend is a drug dealer

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you because I have a problem. I am 34 and I have been living with a man for the last 11 years. 

I have one son but his father and I broke up. So when I met this man, I levelled with him. I told him that the father of my son and I were not getting along, but I am looking for a man who would be a father to my son who would guide him the proper way. He said yes. The relationship started out well. He took my boy with him to any football game and he attended any function at my son’s school. I was pleased about that. I couldn’t expect better; at least that is what I thought. 

This man was engaged in an illegal practice. He was dealing with ganja and I did not know about it until a police officer alerted me and told me to be careful because when they come for him, they will take me away also. He doesn’t smoke, but he always has money. Whatever I asked him for, he was able to give me, so I started to put one and two together. I questioned my son about where they go when they leave the house and he was reluctant to tell me, but I pressed him to answer. I found out that this man had friends who I did not want my son to associate with. He denied everything and told me he is a hard worker, and he worked for whatever he has. This man said he has got my son on his side. Now I do not encourage my son to go anywhere with him. I told this man to take me with him but he has never done so.

My son said I am chasing away this man who has been good to us, and if this man is leaving, he is going to go with him. I cannot believe what my son said to me. But I am willing to expose this man to save my son. I am working. I don’t have to depend on this man for anything. My parents and I get along very well. I spoke to my father about the situation and he told me to leave this man. I am willing to listen to his advice. I can pay my own rent, but I will miss what this man brings in. But I don’t want to have a relationship with a man who deals with drugs. 

Please give me your advice.

S.

Dear S.D.,

Accept the advice from your father and break up the relationship you are having with this man. 

Have your father speak to your son before you ask this man to go. I am glad that you are able to support yourself. I have repeatedly said that a woman should be financially independent whether she is single or married. She should be able to support herself, and by that I mean to pay her bills on her own and not totally depend on a man. A girl will not get to that stage overnight, but it is something to work toward.

Your son should be reminded that before this man came into your life, you were supporting him on your own, and both of you will get ahead without this man.

Pastor