I no longer trust my husband - Man with eyes on me claims hubby is cheating

Dear Pastor

I have been married for five years. After three years, I found out that my husband was having an affair with one of his co-workers. Another co-worker of his told me about it.

The man who told me knew both of us before we were married. When he told me, I did not believe him at first because he had tried to have a relationship with me before I got married. However, I was not interested in him, so I thought he was still trying to pursue me.

I did not take him seriously at all.

My husband started coming home late, and he could not give me any good reason. This man told me that my husband would take his girlfriend to her house and spend time with her there before coming home.

Whenever he got home late, my husband told me a pack of lies, including that he had to stay late at a meeting at his workplace.

One day, I asked him about the girl. He told me they were only co-workers and that he was not involved with her. However, one day, while I was doing laundry, I found a receipt in his shirt pocket that he had forgotten to destroy. It was from a store where he had purchased items for a female, so I put it away carefully.

I never used to look at his credit card statements, but I started paying attention to them. As soon as the statements came, I would look at them. He was using the card to pay for items for this girl, so I told him to stop it.

We have one child together, and he loves his son. He said he would not do anything to cause our family to break up. I am a Christian, but he is not. I love this man, but the co-worker he became involved with is not a Christian.

I asked him if he had ever had sex with the girl, and he said no.

I would love to trust my husband, but I cannot any more. I do not pressure him for anything, and I do not hold back whenever he wants to have sex with me, so I do not understand why he would go to this co-worker.

I threatened to call the girl, and he said I could call her if I wanted, but I have not done so.

The man who told me about the affair says that my husband and this girl sometimes go out to lunch.

Do you think my husband is still having an affair with this girl?

K.

Dear K.,

It is a pity that this man became involved with another woman. I hope you will understand that not everything you hear about your husband should be believed.

You found a receipt in your husband's pocket which indicated that he made a payment for female items. You did not say whether or not he admitted to buying them.

When a man is having an affair, it is likely that he will lie, and evidently your husband began lying about having meetings at his workplace. However, I believe that the man who is telling you about your husband's conduct may still have his eyes on you.

Please understand that just because a man goes out with a woman from time to time does not necessarily mean that they are having an affair. I am not saying that your husband is not having an affair; I am making a general point.

The next time this male co-worker brings you information about your husband, tell him to mind his own business. At the same time, encourage your husband to agree for both of you to see a family counsellor.

Pastor