Neighbour wants my child to have his name

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular listener to your radio show and a regular reader of your column. Thank you for helping the world. Keep up the good work.

I am pregnant, but the man who got me pregnant is not standing up to his responsibility. So I have a neighbour who likes me and he told me that he would take on the responsibility and support the child. He is a man I have sex with occasionally.

My neighbour's wife has died, but his son and daughter are living with him. I went to his house last week and slept with him.

His daughter asked me if I was carrying her father's child and I told her no, and she asked me why then was I sleeping with him. I told her that's because he wanted me to.

She called me a slut. I felt very hurt, but I need the help from this man, and I am going to do what he wants me to do and put his name down as the child's father.

What do you think about that?

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

What you are planning to do is not right. The biological father of the child should be on the birth certificate.

If he does not accept paternity when the child is born, you should take him to court. A DNA test would be done to prove whether or not he is the father.

I know that you are glad to get help from your neighbour, but you should not accept his offer of putting his name on the birth certificate. His daughter should not have called you a slut, but she is trying to tell you that you don't have any ambition and you will not be accepted in her family.

Tell the man what she said to you, but please, do not cause any eruption in this family.

Pastor