Got tricked by a con man

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old woman and I am living in Florida. I have two children. They are living in Jamaica with my mother. I had a relationship with a man who wasn't their father.

Their father was arrested for a crime that he said he did not commit. But he is in prison. I work hard here to support my children. My brothers became the fathers of my children.

This man I had a relationship with promised to marry me. Whenever he needed anything, he sent and asked me for it. He said he wanted a car to run as taxi.

I spoke to my brothers about it and one of them agreed and the other said no. I went against the advice from the one who objected.

I should have listened to him because he is a mechanic, but I love this man so much, so he convinced me that he could make money by running the car as a taxi.

That money that he saved could be used towards our wedding.

Pastor, few months after he got the car, I could not hear from him; he hardly called me. My brothers told me he was all over the place with girls. I came to Jamaica.

This man knew when I was going to land, but he did not even come to the airport to meet me. It is a friend who picked me up.

When I saw him later in the night, he had excuses, and told me that the car was giving him trouble. He did not have any money to give me. I felt so hurt.

I found out that he has a babymother and she is always with him. My brothers had to threaten him before he gave up the car. I don't know who to trust. I am very unlucky when it comes to men.

F.M.

Dear F.M.,

It is said that love is blind. You were so much involved with this young man that you were not willing to listen to anybody.

I could understand how hard you worked to support your children and even to help this man. So many young men want to drive cars to use as taxis.

My understanding is that it is one of the easiest ways to get women. These women ride in the cars for free and the guys are so silly, they fail to understand that the cars must be maintained. The women may give them sex, but that's all they will have from the women. But sex cannot buy tyres and parts that are needed for the proper maintenance of the cars. It cannot pay for licences or insurance.

This guy used you. He lied to you, but you believed that he was speaking the truth when you first met him. Your brother is a mechanic.

He knows what goes on, so you should have listened to him. You learnt by the mistake you have made, but you will be alright. Let this man go his way. You will survive. I wish you well.

Pastor