Women keep calling my man at nights

Dear Pastor,

I have been a reader of your column since I was a teenager. I have two children; one is five and the other is three. My boyfriend is 29 years old going on to 30. I got involved with him when I was still in school. I got pregnant for him. I was so quiet. When my mother found out that I was pregnant, she told me that she couldn't believe that her quiet daughter knew how to have sex.

I did not know how to have sex, it just happened. I have always been the apple of my father's eyes. So when my mother told him that I was pregnant, he said he did not believe. My boyfriend went to my father and explained himself to him. I would love to get married, but my boyfriend says he wants to build his house first. We have the land, but we are trying to get some money from the Housing Trust to build. We don't want to have any more children until we build our own house.

My boyfriend runs taxi in the evening, but I don't like that work. I prefer that he comes home when it gets dark. I also notice that lots of women are calling him. Sometimes late at nights while we are in bed, women are calling him. And when I tell him that he shouldn't leave, he gets annoyed. I told him that if he does not stop going out late in the night when these women call him, I am going to stop having unprotected sex with him.

I am on the Pill, but I warn him that I will buy the condom for him to use because I am afraid of getting sick. He tells me that he is not doing anything with these women. I don't know if he is speaking the truth.

P.G.

Dear P.G.,

I hope that the relationship that you are having with this man will get stronger and that one of these days you will write and tell me that both of you are married. I know you must be very concerned about your man working at nights. And if he could stay home, he should listen to you.

Some women go after men who drive. There are taxi men who are not foolish. If girls allow themselves to be used, the men would use them. But there are some taxi drivers who work very hard, and they are not going to just give women their hard-earned money. They probably would get a ride here and there, but they are not going to be able to take away a very conscious brother.

You are not worried about your man leaving you. You are worried about him having sex with these women and contracting a sexually transmitted infection. I hope he would behave as a wise man. So, continue to reason with him, and if he loves you, he will listen to you.

Before I go, I must address this matter of building your house before you get married. Many young men have taken that position. It doesn't work all the time. You can rent a house and take your time and build your own home, instead of rushing to build and end up having a house that you do not like.

Pastor